The Annual Employment Cycle of a TV Researcher

January

Funemployed! No one’s hiring in January so you can play out with your other telly friends, except Jules who’s annoyingly sticking to Dry Jan so won’t be invited anywhere this month (even if it is just to daytime movies using your Picturehouse discount card).

February

Unemployed. Under a cloud of doom you realise you know who the murderer is because you’ve seen this episode of NCIS before. You’ve seen all the episodes before. Now, your friends who spent January applying for the handful of jobs on offer have gone back to work and solo day-drinking feels a bit ‘Jeremy Kyle Show’ since you can only afford White Lightning.

March

You try not to sound too desperate in your interview for that show you’d never watch and accept the job at a slight pay cut because it starts right away and might curb the disappointment in your parents eyes.

April

You are surprised at how much effort goes into preparing a show that looks so unprepared on screen. You thought the request to fact check the story of the psychic cat was an April Fools prank, but alas…

May

Stockholm Syndrome has set in and you’re finally enjoying your work. You have forgotten that you had friends outside of this production team and are convinced this will be the best series to ever grace the air.

June

You are filming episode 57 and could now make this show in your sleep. In fact you are.

July

The finish line is in sight and the whole production has an end-of-term feel. Things that would never have passed in the early days of the series are now applauded as great show item ideas. It doesn’t matter, the commissioner and execs have stopped watching by now anyway.

August

There’s life out there. The sun is shining and there are no more 7am call times. Since you had no time to go out and spend any money for the length of the contract, you’re flush enough to enjoy festival type things, and since you’ve never mentally progressed beyond your student state you don’t feel unemployed, it’s just like you’re on summer holidays.

September

The promise of so many new series’, but so few job offers for you. Paranoia creeps in; what if your last job in TV was your last job in TV?!!

October

Hooray, you’ve found another job. Each morning you dutifully leave your house in the dark, beaver away in your windowless hovel for 10+ hours, and each night leave work in the dark. As a result you’ve started to look like a mole, but it’s OK, everyone around you does to.

November

The fear sets in again, as your contract’s going to end just in time for Christmas. You are torn between saving for the impending unemployment of the holidays or spending all your money on Berocca to try and make it to the end.

December

A raucous wrap / Christmas party at which everyone’s drinks are surely spiked with a memory loss serum causing all involved to forget the pain that went into making the show and ensure you’ll be gullible enough to sign up again next series.

January

Rinse and repeat….

By @TV_Types

(Image by Flickr photographer sualk61)